Me. At least after what I've been through.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
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