I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
