glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
Threw my underwear in my purse as I was running away after sex last night, went to pick up my birth control prescription this morning, took out my wallet and accidentally flung my sweet thong onto the counter in front of the cashier. Think that was the universes way of telling me I am a whore.
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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