Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
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