is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
