i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Randomize
