I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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