carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
Just cropdusted the office
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
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