i dedicated my morning wood to you.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
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