i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
