Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize
