He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
Randomize
