Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
