just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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