Why are handjobs necessary in class?
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
