Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Randomize
