i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
