It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
Randomize
