I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
i need an iv and a liver transplant
So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Randomize
