I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
Randomize
