You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
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