wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Randomize
