we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Randomize
