I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Randomize
