I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Randomize
