he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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