I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
This gyro tastes like lonliness
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
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