at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
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