for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
Even the bartender felt bad for me
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
birth control should be required to get into college
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
Randomize
