worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
Randomize
