i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
Randomize
