I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
