And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
this just has baby written all over it
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
This couple is walking their pig around campus
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
