Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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