Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
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