I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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