I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
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