you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
Alive.
So much puke
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
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