I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
Randomize
