Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
