i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
Randomize
