does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize
