it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
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