He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
I currently don't understand fingers.
Randomize
