oh fat girl friday strikes again...
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Randomize
