she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Randomize
