I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
