Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
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