Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
he just fucked me for my cheese..
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
Randomize
