Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
