That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
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