i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
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