singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Randomize
